I proclaim myself an enigma.
I'll be the first to confess to knowing nothing of myself at all!

Human Relations

With all due candor, I'm not a people's person.
Today just served as a blatant affirmation of my non-existent aptitude towards socialising. I almost always hope for a third person to join a company of two...for I nurse an incessant probing fear that our conversation might run itself dry...and that silence might find itself prominent in its sequel.

Silence is golden, only when one's company is himself. For should one find himself in the society of another, the silence loses its lustre...and hangs thick in the air like a dense fog of awkward restlessness. I hold in utmost reverence the people who possess the gift of the gab...for its a skill which derives confidence, a trait which I sorely lack.

I realised today a shopping centre can seem so radically different after its closure to the public. When all is dark and the compound is left wanting of human presence, the contrast is left all the more stark. Men cannot do without company. Just now I pictured myself trapped in Vivo, with not a soul for company...and I figured I might lose all rational consciousness within 24 hours...for when one has no confidante for solace, the mind can prove an overwhelming dictator of thought. Zzz...I guess I let my mind wander a little too far for comfort :)

I'm left appalled at certain aspects of work which cannot be made of public knowledge...yet my displeasure could be, a mere folly due to my being ignorant in the ways of the working world. I'm but a novice and this is my first job...therefore I do not know if its convention to utilise manpower in such a manner...but yet when I see a disparity in treatment within the institution itself...I fail to comprehend the reality of it all.

& 2:18 AM