I haven't visited the library for a few months already...and that would be a worrying statistic if I haven't an alternative avenue to satisfy my literary thirst...I've bought YET another book...Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, whom I've developed a sudden interest for after a detailed inspection of his essays which are, blessedly available online...I enjoy his style, an assailing onslaught of words on a topic he disposed to disfavour. Certain essays did not strike me right but nevertheless one has to admire his ruthless yet elegant mastery of prose.

Grandpa is hospitalised...and I was oblivious to it until I reached home and found his bed empty. In all honesty, his every affliction fills me with a trepidation I find hard to word. His aging seems a gradual certainty, for only when one stalls in his tracks from the daily bustle does one observe the strands of grey and the deeply etched lines tattooed on the face, stark reminders of the time that has passed us by.
I see grandma unconditionally attending to my grandpa. She rubs his back, applies medication, converse with him WHILE simultaneously preparing Yang for school, supervising the maid in whatever she does and even worrying about my feeling hungry when returning from work! Mummy reminded her that we're no longer kids and that the concern is unwarranted for...yet my grandma with her tender affection still calls us "Nou Kias" which means children in dialect...probably to her, we'll always be the Wei Wei and Zhe Zhe who will beg for permission to go play at the playground and who, on first day at school, would cry and demand for her to stay at the school gate...which she dutifully did.

She taught me how love isn't a noun but a verb, and put to shame all the couples who, for all their profound confessions of affection, would end up tainting the other's name upon a severance of ties. I have never, for the record heard my grandma profess of her love for my grandpa...or even us for the matter. My dad was again preaching about the importance of filial piety on the car that day...but I feel he has no reason for worry...that's the least I could do for my grandparents and parents...for anything else would undoubtedly qualify me a heinous beast.



I hope he gets discharged soon...

& 12:30 AM